To Die For

Sam Jones doll

Sam Jones has been called 'a divine dropout who never dropped in, with the morals of an alley cat'. Flattery about Sam's morals apart, she's certainly unconventional. A metal sculptor, she lives in a run-down warehouse in Holloway, keeps near-vampiric hours and thinks commitment is what happens when the men in white coats turn up at your door with a straightjacket and a tranquilliser gun.

Sam used to teach weights and she still works out, but even if she spent all day in the gym she'd never have a lean mean figure. She's a Fifties starlet-type but at least all the curves are nice and toned. Sam loves clothes, especially second-hand bargains, but shopping bores her - she's frighteningly goal-oriented. After an early punk period she has settled down happily into a Gina Lollobrigida Goes To Camden Town style of dressing. She wouldn't mind throwing Tank Girl into the mix, but you don't wear her cut-off t-shirts unless you have abs of steel, and Sam loves to eat too much to give up her curries...

Above is paperdoll artist JJ Buch's stylized vision of what Sam Jones looks like. Below are some of Sam's more notorious outfits. Now taking pre-orders in the All Night Mall. Sorry, downloadable doll option is not yet available.

Black Rubber Dress
Little Black Dress
My hand alighted on my newest and thus favourite frock, the one I had actually known I was going to wear all the time. It was sleeveless and Empire line; the bodice was black boucle and the skirt, which had a slight flare so as not to cling too vulgarly to the hips, was black rubber. A wide border of more black rubber trimmed the neckline, which skimmed my shoulders flatteringly. I put it on and stared at myself in satisfaction. At least I didn't look like an off-duty bond trader. Nor did I look like someone who was having an affair with a detective sergeant - whoops, detective inspector, excuse me. I kept forgetting about Hawkins' promotion.

Black Rubber Dress.
Leather Trousers and T-Shirt

'At this moment you look like Gina Gershon in "Bound",' Hugo said.

'Really?' I perked up.

'Mm. Normally I'd have said Jennifer Tilly. But those leather jeans are very butch, darling.'

'I shouldn't be working in them, really. They were very expensive about a decade ago, but they're so old now they're hanging off me.'

I poked at them dispiritedly. The knees had gone, which was always the beginning of the end. The bottom would be next.

'Get a pair custom-made,' Hugo suggested. 'Girls need to, really, especially ones like you. All those curves to fit.' He tilted his head. 'Brown would be nice on you, a really dark bitter chocolate brown. Go with your hair and eyes.'

Freeze My Margarita.
Sam in jeans
White Dress

Hugo picked out a long white sheath with spaghetti straps and a slit up one side, which I had bought on sale and never worn.

'Doesn't it make me look fat?" I said, pivoting distrustfully and trying to look down at my bottom over my shoulder, regretting the giant plate of chips I had had for lunch.

'No. You're in rather good shape for someone who eats like the hero of 'Babe'.'

'I was hungry,' I said defensively....

Certainly one of the advantages to wearing white was that everyone turned to look at you.

Freeze My Margarita.

Please note that to prevent unauthorized copying, these web images have been altered to reduce the quality and the clothes shown on this page are not proportionate to the doll. Now taking pre-orders in the Tart City All Night Mall .

See Sparkle's Robin Hudson

Katy Munger's fearlessly funny P.I. Casey Jones.

Tony Fennelly's Margo Fortier

Tarts . . Motel . . Madness . . Mom's . . Gym . . Route 66 . . Studio . . Dungeon . . Mall . . Starlite . . Message Board
Search    Home